Guess who’s back and fatter than ever!? This girl right here. I always do this. I come on here, write a fucking “this is the last time” speech, do it for a few days and give up AGAIN. Where’s my determination these days :( jdlsbskb. Okay so. My weight this morning: 215.9. When I started this i was 180 lbs!! 35 pounds gained since November 2011. Wow. I’m breaking my own heart writing this. It has GOT to stop. I’m disgusted and disappointed in myself more than ever. I hate my body. I hate how I look. I hate how I feel. I hate being looked at the way I am constantly. I hate that the slight muscle definition I had has VANISHED COMPLETELY. I hate that I literally have 21 pairs of pants sitting in my closet that won’t fit around my huge friggan belly. I hate that I’m so negative towards myself. I hate that my friends are so fake and say they haven’t noticed me gaining weight.. 35 lbs doesn’t “sneak” on you. Why didn’t I stop myself!?
Fuck. I guess I really need help, please please please. I want someone to be accountable to. I know I’ve lost like 25 followers but if there’s even one of you that wants to like.. Be weight loss buddies? I’d be cool with emailing, texting, Facebook, anything. I hate tumblr messages though /: Gah. Please even if you’re a tiny bit interested let me know? I’m clearly desperate for support.
